生日
唯色
唯色
我可以代替你
亲近这匹变得稀罕的马吗?
这蹄子尚未磨砺的马
这终究长得出一对翅膀的马
这时紧紧地跟着
毛色越来越黑
何时腾空而飞,一定惊世骇俗
而那个本命年
那一条通往外省的路上
谁的一击,使这匹马轰然倒下
使你落尽乌发
挑选一座寺院,等待复活的奇迹
我可以代替你
亲近这匹变得稀罕的马吗?
风云变幻,难以测算
你哪一邦失散的女子
只顾饮泣而走,虽然留住口音
却留不住一件额外的、增色的首饰
是否为了骏马,已在屈辱中换掉?
是否为了这匹马,扑上心灵的尘土
也被当作了不起的恩赐?
你把这唯有我看见的
你从来不骑的牲口
爱得多痛!
1996-7-21,拉萨
Birthday
Is it possible for me to take your place
as the friend of this cherished horse
who has become so rare?
This unpolished horse has yet
to sprout its wings. For now,
it follows closely, its coat black
and blacker still.
When will it leap into the sky?
Its flight will stun the world.
In which year, on which road,
will someone strike the single blow
that fells the horse,
and makes you shave
your raven black hair, select
a monastery, and wait
for the miracle of resurrection?
Is it possible for me to take your place
as the friend of this cherished horse
who has become so rare?
The shifting mirage of wind and cloud,
so difficult to measure.
You are a woman
scattered by a country.
You left with only tears to swallow.
You kept your accent
but could not keep anything more.
Was the colorful jewelry
for the steed?
And has it already been replaced
by humiliation?
Is it for the horse
that you throw yourself
into the dust of the heart’s spirit
and regard its sift
as an extraordinary kindness?
You love this beast
who only I can see.
You have never mounted it
nor loved it with so much pain.
Lhasa, July 21, 1996
(Translated by Ian Boyden)
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